A Review of “Singled Out”, by Nikki Derouin, Hopkins Publishing, 2012.
Nikki Derouin’s book’s challenging subtitle, “Finding Contentment When It’s Just You and the Lord”, pinpoints the basic issues of individual worth and poor self image that an unmarried woman wrestles with in our youth-obsessed society, never mind the issues of sexual purity in a sex-obsessed culture. Single women bear the brunt of being painted with an oddball/weirdo brush, living in the 21st century as a devout follower of Jesus.
Young men have an easier time as eligible bachelors, and enjoy freedom from family responsibilities. If they fall from grace now and then, it’s not such a big deal. But when it comes to marriage they would like to have a virgin bride meet them at the altar. And so it goes, down through the ages, this double standard of sexual mores and society’s expectations.
Nikki has emerged from this social morass victorious, armed with an arsenal of truths anchored in the Word of God, ready to strengthen other young women to be part of the sacred sisterhood she espouses. Her validation and self worth comes from her relationship with God, and not from another person. This holds true whether single or married because anyone’s status may change any given moment. We can go from single lady to married woman to single mom or to widow all in one lifetime.
I remember telling my beautiful single daughter, aged 29, who had just returned from the Mission field, that she hadn’t missed the boat. There was nothing wrong with her. God had simply chosen to hide her under His wings for a season. Then I began to pray for the man God had “hidden” from her. Her hairdresser soon arranged a blind date, and they both discovered one another over a cup of coffee.
Nikki reminds us all of the brevity of life. “We are not promised tomorrow. Our life could end at any time. In fact, even if we lived to a ripe old age, our life would still be seen as a vapor…” (p.71) We must live purposefully and with integrity if we are to find that contentment, that peace of heart and mind.
Artfully written scriptural lessons are combined with questions at the end of each chapter, which makes this book perfect for small group ministries.
Bravo Nikki for writing this little gem!